There was more to Zodwa’s dress…

Since Saturday, social media was awash with Zodwa Wabantu’s pictures from the Durban July event. There she was, dressed in a beautiful dress, with an up-to-there slit, showing she was not wearing any panties. Her cellulite thigh was in the open and she didn’t seem to mind, which brings me to the lessons I think we should grasp from her, especially as women. I do not condone such dressing but there was more to that dress other than her showing she had no panties.

Zodwa

  1. Be confident in your body

Look closely at Zodwa’s thigh, it’s not that flawless, it does have flaws, cellulite to be precise. It’s not that she doesn’t know she has cellulite but she’s embraced her flaws and decided not to let them take her down. I have seen women bleach, because they are not very comfortable in their dark skinned. They think being yellow is the definition of beauty. But have you taken a minute to consider the effect of those bleaches? Many of us have even spent a lot of money on buying creams to cover our flawed skin in the name of searching for beauty. Be careful of damaging your skin or body because you think it is better on the other side, you might actually lose a lot by moving from the real you, to a fake you. It’s up to you, I choose to embrace and love my flaws, because that’s what makes me beautiful.

2. Never mind what people say, it’s your life after all

After we have all put our thoughts on social media, laughing and cursing, and worst of all bullying the lady, do you think Zodwa didn’t know the dress would cause a stir? She knew, and from my understanding, I think she was trying to prove a point, she doesn’t care about what people say. How many of us have remained in abusive relationships because we are afraid of what people will say? How many of us have failed to step out of their comfort zones because of what people will say? How many opportunities have we let go by because of what people will say? How many of us have let go of the people we truly loved because of what people said?

We were only given one life on this earth and limiting yourself from doing what you feel is right because of what people will say is self torture and you will forever regret it. It’s not about what people will say but about what you want in your life, what makes you happy. I know no man is an island entire to itself but at the end of the day, what really matters is what makes you happy. I promise you, no matter what good you do, people will always find a fault in whatever  you would have done. So mam, get up, brush yourself up, wear whatever you want and go out and enjoy your life. Life is too short to hold back. I think Zodwa is actually enjoying her life, while we busy waste our data forwarding her pictures and demeaning her. She actually got free publicity, so you never know what will push you up.

3. Looking at the bigger picture : We are no saints when it comes to dressing

I know most women are against the way she was dressed but she did this for the women, to show bravery and confidence. Sometimes, when someone does something, let’s not look at whatever it is as it is, look at the bigger picture. For whatever happens in this life, there’s always a hidden meaning behind, which we should look at before we judge someone. Most of us do worse behind close doors, so think of that before judging. I was just thinking of how some of us dress, we are no different from Zodwa, only that she left one side of herself in the open. Some of us are wearing see through tights and not much of underwear which leaves most of our ‘private’ parts public. I won’t start on the dresses we are wearing which are more or less like that of Zodwa’s.  Yet here we are castigating Zodwa as if we are saints.

I know most people would be basing on the bible but the bible does say judge not, therefore we have no right at all to judge her dressing. Anyway, everyone is entitled to an opinion but I thought I would give you something to think about.

PS: Please explain where the outrage is coming from. From her flaunting her leg or from her not wearing panties?

 

Dear public transporters…we are passengers not baggage

The number of lives that have been lost over the past months is heartbreaking. When you do not have a relative involved it’s very easy to just say aww shame, but I can’t imagine the feelings of the families that lost their breadwinners in these accidents, the children who risk failing to go to school because there’s no more fees and the mothers who do not know where their next meal will come from because the meal provider is gone. Gone because of one reckless driver who thought of  his target without thinking of the risks involved.

KingLion-accident

Last weekend, as we drove down Mutoko road, I thought there wouldn’t be speeding buses, due to the fact that there had been an accident earlier that week, you would think they would be a bit cautious, but no, they were over speeding with confidence, and to make it worse, it was at night.

It is worrying how these bus drivers do not take passengers as human but as baggage that needs to be delivered fast so as to rush back to get more. Not only are the bus drivers reckless but the combi-drivers too. Before you enter the combi, you are the boss, they will wait for you as you brush your teeth but once you get in, your value is nothing but 50cents, they hope you drop off along the way so that they get more passengers.

That’s where the problem is, the public transporters have valued our lives monetarily, all that matters is reaching the destination as soon as possible so as to have as many passengers as possible, but to who’s expense? It is sad.

Yes, the roads are bad but can we entirely put the blame on the potholes? Would it hurt so much to decrease speed where necessary and increase the speed where the road is better? What good is it when you overturn, and risk people’s lives while speeding for more few coins. Does this ever cross their mind or all that’s filled in their minds is money and nothing else?

One dreads sitting at the back seat of the combi, especially when passing through Mbare, where there are more potholes than the road, (I wonder why Mbare is always put last in terms of road maintenance), the combis speed through the pot holes and you are thrown to the roof.

Sometimes, I blame the passengers, because everyone is late, they don’t mind the driver speeding, so if you are to tell the driver that he’s speeding it would be 19 against one, but if anything is to happen, they are the first to say, he was speeding.

Drivers, as you start your key and get on the road, remember you are carrying lives and not baggage, there’s no rush, as the saying goes, it’s better to be late than be the late. Sorry will never bring back lives, and I have seen campaigns against the King Lion bus, but what good will it be if lives have already been lost. Police officers, instead of looking at whether our car seats are torn or not, why not make sure the buses and combi’s are roadworthy. Let’s not major in the minors.

Passengers, we have every right to stop the bus and get off it if we see that he has no concern whatsoever with our lives. Our lives matter.

 

How we ‘kill’ our own artists

There has been so much debate over our local music industry, whether we have an industry or not. Some have argued that there is no talent whilst others have said our artists are not fit for the international scene. I beg to differ. Talent is there and our artists are far much better than other artists from other countries but one thing they lack is support, from both the fans and the government.

killer-t1

One cannot dispute the fact that there are some who produce bubblegum music, some are just one hit wonder artists and some are just fly by night artists but just because there are a few of those in the music industry does not mean the whole industry has bad apples. Not considering those who think just because they have a laptop they can produce music.

Our artists are not as wealthy as those in other countries and this can be attributed to us the audiences, who love our artists’ music but we are not willing to spare a dollar to buy their CDs, we would rather download for free and still claim ‘I am your number one fan’, point of correction, you are the number one enemy of progress.

There have been efforts made by artists to make their music available, even competing with the pirate’s prices and selling the discs for a dollar but we still do not support. It’s so unfortunate that we are the one’s that laugh at how poor they are and how we all use public transport with them. We look down upon our own.

A number of artists have also found ways to break into the international scene by collaborating with international artists and they seem to be making it looking at artists like Jah Prayzah. Slowly but surely, our music is becoming international.

I am sure you will agree with me that the videos being produced these days are top notch and can very much compete with any other international music video. Unfortunately, as Zimbabweans, we are not as accepting to the development as much as we should be. We still want those videos where are our artists are standing in First street or at the lake. We are too reluctant to accept change.

About a month ago, social media was awash with people fuming over Killer T’s pictures of him in a coffin. It is funny how we are quick to judge, labeling others as satanists, just because of a simple thing. A coffin is where a dead person is put before they are buried in a grave and a satanist is someone who worships satan. I am still trying to find the link between the two, how one can be labelled a satanist because they have a picture of themselves in a coffin.

It is funny how most of the people who are being judgemental are Christians, for the bible we read teaches us not to judge (Matthew 7:1). It even goes on to teach us to look at our sins first before looking at the sins of others. But no, we don’t follow what the bible says, we do and say what we feel is right. I am sure the producer of the video knew what he wanted to sell to the audiences.

Just a week ago, Jah Prayzah released his Sendekera video in which he featured Mafikizolo. We must agree that he is putting Zimbabwe in the limelight. However, I was shocked at the negative comments that where all over social media. I must say I applaud Jah Prayzah for responding to the negative statements by saying he couldn’t please everyone, which is true. I feel if you do not like something, you just have to ignore and focus on what you like and not try to convince the others that it is bad just because you do not like it.

Art, from my understanding is not created to please all, just as this article will be applauded by some and criticized by others but that’s how it is. Everyone has a right to produce what he or she feels is right for them. And if  one doesn’t like it, they might as well create something better or follow what they think is better than what they have been given

I believe no matter how bad something might seem, the person behind it would have put much into it with the belief that it is satisfactory and it will blow minds away. If you do not like something, then sorry, click next. Amazing how Sendekera video with the negative comments it has got already has over 500k views.

The reason why those international artists flourish is because they have full support from the people from their countries, pity we don’t do the same, we are quick to pull down our artists and it will take time before our artists can fully penetrate the international market. The artists are who we make them.

Women, let’s be bold for change

For years now, we have been crying for change, for platforms to express ourselves, for equal opportunities as well as reasonable representation in policy making platforms. Platforms have been provided, opportunities are there and representation has since improved, but are we bold enough for change. I believe change begins with us and it all begins with changing our mindsets.

Photo on 25-9-2014 at 4.52 PM

  1. Getting rid of the Inferiority complex

Everyone is talented in different ways but some people tend to hide their potential, leaving success for the others. What we forget is success is not for anyone else but us. We often complain that not many opportunities have come our way but sometimes it is not about the opportunity that comes your way but it is all about standing up and doing what you can do to the best of your abilities and opportunities will certainly come your way. Never think less of yourself, you are worth more than you can imagine. Women are so gifted and I believe if we stop feeling inferior and come together, we can do wonders and change the world to be better.

2. Changing the dependency mindset

Most ladies my age, who are not yet married and looking forward to marriage tend to have the mentality of looking for someone who will take care of them while they sit and gladly accept hand overs. Yes, a man is ‘supposed’ to take care of his wife but what are you doing to sustain yourself in case he leaves you. Society has taught us to rely on men but it is time we changed that. Let us teach self reliance to the little girls and change the gospel of finding a rich husband but the gospel of working hard and being a rich wife. Be a rich girl before you find a rich man, so that you complement each other. Marriage should be about companionship and not financial benefits.

Reliance is the same reason why most women have stayed in abusive relationships, mainly because they do not have anywhere to go, if they leave that marriage they have nothing to sustain themselves hence they live for the money. I don’t blame them, but I blame society that has, from the very first day, taught us to rely on men. It’s time to change that and try as much as possible to be able to sustain ourselves before we can think of marriage.

3. Making other people’s lives your career

Unemployment is on the rise and this has often seen most people having nothing to do other than spend the whole day on social media, admiring and criticizing the celebrities’ lives and also following other people’s lives. ‘Who is dating who? Who got dumped by who? Who got married? Who got impregnated by who? And so on..’ But how does this edify your life?What benefit is it to the world? What value does it add to your life knowing and rejoicing on someone’s progress or recline in life?

If the answer is nothing, then why not invest that time in doing something that will help in making you  a better person. If you can’t invest in the smallest project, better invest your time in reading and in that will you find motivation or tips on how to be a better person.

Gossip, viral threads and jokes only give you something to laugh about at that moment but it does not make your life any better. Make something out of your life and find things that will bring food to your table.

Use social media to your advantage. Social media is a chance to show yourself to the world, what you can do and how you can help in the world. There’s more to facebook other than selfies and funny skits. Take action.

4. From Pull-her-down to pull-her-up syndrome

Women tend to have a problem of finding it hard to support fellow women in what they do, they are good at telling her, ‘you are bound to fail’. It is difficult to let the men believe in us if we do not believe in our fellow women. The more we support each other, the more we are represented in policy making affairs. It is quite unfortunate that recently, the minister of women’s affairs, Nyasha Chikwinya, who is supposed to be supporting the women, recently appointed a male chairperson for the women’s bank where there were a number of female applicants. So much for empowering the women.

From a tender age, let’s teach the girl child to support the women as much as they support the male counterparts. Opportunities and positions should not be accorded as to one’s gender but as to one’s abilities. As Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie puts it, “Teach her to question or culture’s selective use of biology as ‘reasons’ for social norms.” If the girl wants to be a mechanic, let her be, mechanics is not in the DNA of men, neither is cooking in the DNA of women. As a woman, you should not be bound by societal expectations but by what you want to do. Never mind the other women who won’t support you, well they will admire you when you are up there.

5. Getting married because society feels you are ‘ripe’

So when ladies get to their twenties, and they graduate from university or college, what society expects from them is marriage. They are now old enough to get married, which has often put pressure on them. Ladies end up getting married because of society and not because they have found the right person which I think has contributed to the influx on divorces before five years. Get married because, deep down in your heart you feel you have found the right person and deep inside, you are ready.

It is all about changing our mindsets, shifting our focus not only on being caregivers but being leaders and innovators. Women are blessed with the gift of multi-tasking, there’s nothing we cannot juggle. Let’s stand up and do something for ourselves, something we can be proud to stand up and say, I achieved this as a woman. Get rid of people who do not push you up and discourage you and start associating yourself with those who encourage you to do better and become innovative.

Happy women’s month! May we aim to change the world for the  better.

Note to Olinda……

I would be lying if I said I know how u feel right now, because I don’t.  Probably that’s the reason why I thought you were overreacting when you posted your first video. I even laughed and regretted feeling sorry for you when you posted an apology the next day, putting all the blame on yourself. But I do know you are hurt.

olinda-chideme

I must say I am sorry for that. I have come to realise that there are situations when one is depressed, when you haven’t done anything wrong but the world seems cruel to you. Having tried to be the perfect woman but the person you are doing it for never notices, they instead make you feel worse.  You cry, scream and shout and sometimes feel a bit over the edge, suicide becomes an option.

Probably you told a number of people about your predicament, hoping they would make your burden lighter, but they could have made it worse, telling you ‘we told you so’ or spreading it over to more people to make it worse. Maybe that is why you decided to take it to social media.

I am not married and probably am not the right person to try and comfort you but I just thought I should say what I feel might be helpful.

You are worth more than you feel you are.You are beautiful the way you are and no one should ever tell you other wise. You can never please everyone, so do what you are comfortable with and not what the next person thinks is better for you. When you are disappointed, cry, shout and scream all you want, just let it all out.

Suicide should never be an option, it’s your family that loses their loved one and your death will only leave scars to those who truly love you and fulfillment to those who don’t. I understand what could have made you more emotional is because you lost your mother recently, you wish if she was there you could tell her all your problems. Whenever you think of suicide, think of what your mother would have wanted for you and what she would have loved to see you achieve and work towards that. I am sure she wouldn’t have wanted you crying over a man.

You can never tell someone in love to leave their partner because they have been wronged because tomorrow you might seem to be the enemy. I won’t tell you to leave Stunner but I will tell you to think of who stands to benefit in this marriage or if you divorce, who benefits more. But what matters the most is what your heart wants, follow you heart.

There are many organisations that are willing to listen to you cry, their doors are wide open and at any time you can call or visit. Social media might have been your last option but I feel posting videos of yourself in tears might even worsen your situation, with some nasty people who are there to curse for no apparent reason.

Go away for a holiday if you have to, forget your misery and think things through. I can see you have started retail therapy, great going! There is more to life than cheating lads. Tomorrow will be a better day. Pray as much as you can and ask God for forgiveness.

I am sorry for what you went through, I hope you are recovering.

Have a great life!

Shame on you, ‘Prophet’!

I can’t explain how angry I was (I still am) as I listened to Tilder Live, with Tilder having in the studio, ‘Prophet’ Mapfumo and his rape victims. The bible clearly tells us not use the name of the Lord in vain yet some grown man uses the name of God to satisfy his sexual needs in the disguise of healing.

prophet-mapfumo

I listened carefully as the first victim narrated her ordeal. Apparently, ‘Prophet’ Mapfumo of By Grace ministries, during his one-on-one sessions, ‘saw’ that this lady had a problem with her stomach, and in order for him too heal he, she had to remove her clothes.

Sensing resistance, the man asked why people had faith in doctors, where they would remove their clothes without resistance yet they resisted removing their clothes for the ‘Man of God.’

“Because I had so much faith in the man of God, I told him I believed in him for healing and I stripped my clothes where he raped me thereafter,” she said.

Now, when people speak ill of the prophets of today, the congregants curse those who would have said out their mind. But after hearing this story, would one be justified to persecute those who do not believe in the prophets of today? And then we begin to question all those one-on-one sessions in the ‘prayer rooms’, are the rooms used for prayer only? One tends to wonder.

Maybe there are true prophets, who have been truly called to serve, but it is people like these who make us doubt the authenticity of their works. Well, don’t throw stones at me for speaking out my mind.

A grown man, with a wife and children at home (who were listening to the show), doing such a shameful thing and publicly accepting his crime and blaming it on temptation. Man, we are all tempted on a daily basis, but there’s something called self control, which you clearly don’t have which is a necessity in the field you had chosen.

The saddening thing is you have tarnished the name of prophets, you have humiliated your congregants who had so much faith in you and most of all you have disgraced your family. It’s such a shame beginning the year with the awakening that your father who’s a ‘prophet’, impregnated a young desperate woman, (could have raped more, we are not sure) and asked for sexual favors in the name of healing to a number of female congregants. In situations like these, the bold would have spoken out and more could be afraid to speak out for fear of breaking their homes and labeling in society.

It’s so unfortunate that there are people out there who are taking advantage of people in desperate situations. I know most people would be laying all the blame on the woman for being so naive. Sometimes we give in to such crap because we are desperate to get out of a lot of situations. Society expects a lot from us, and we end up acting without thinking twice, because someone has used the name of God.

I applaud the ladies for speaking out and reporting the matter to the police. ‘Prophet’ Mapfumo, I hope you get a stiff sentence, for taking advantage of desperate women and mostly for using the name of God in vain. I hope a number of church leaders who could be thinking of doing the same learn from you.

Of the words I wanted to say….before tears got the best of me

When I enrolled for university 4 years ago, there are two things I really couldn’t wait for, my graduation ceremony and my graduation party. What came with graduating is what is generally important but for me, the day when people would gather around and congratulate me was the most important. No matter how hard things seemed to be, I fought harder so that I could get a graduation party. One important part of the party I wanted was the time when I would say my speech, talking about my journey and thanking all who helped me throughout the journey, but tears got the best of me and I only said a few words. But here goes what I always wanted to say.dscf8584

 

Growing up, I have seen my parents try hard to make sure we have the best of education, not that I went to the best of schools, but I went to the best of schools they could manage and it is through that, that I became who I am.

I have grown to see the people around me excel and fail. For those who excelled, I learnt that anything is possible under the sun and you can achieve if you only put your heart in all that you  do. I must say though, that I learnt a lot more from the people who failed and made mistakes before me, for they tested the waters for me, they drowned and I made sure I didn’t take that path.

My Journey at Midlands State University

When I applied at Midlands State University (MSU), my name did not appear in the press when they published the names of people who had got places at the University, I was distraught, where would I go? UZ had offered me Bachdelor of Arts which I had no interest in whatsoever and MSU was my last option, with my first option being Psychology, Politics and public management as second option and lastly Media and society studies.

I kept my faith and I knew I would get a place, I was going to reapply as soon as the semester started. I had so much faith that I went to South Africa to shop for school, when I didn’t even have a place. My cousin brother, who’s a lecturer assured me I would get a place, but in Human resources. as it was the department that was still recruiting.

As soon as the University opened, I went to Gweru with my school fees carefully tucked in my jeans and I went straight to the Human resources department to ask if I could get a place. The attitude I got from the department, yohh, I will leave it here. But we were made to wait for five hours straight without any feedback.

My cousin later came, just a few minutes before lunch and asked what they had said and I told him they hadn’t attended to us since morning. He then asked if I would rather be interested in History, I refused, History was my worst subject at A level, and I wasn’t going to spend the next four years studying something I hated. He then asked if I would rather be interested in English and Communications and I just asked what I would do with that degree and he tried explaining but still, I wasn’t interested. Then he asked if I would rather be interested in Media, and I leaped with joy, I wanted Media.

We went to the Media and Society Studies department and we met the chairperson. There were vacancies in the department, provided I had Literature in English and at least an E in O level Mathematics. That was it! I got the place and I was about to start my journey.

Of course, the parents weren’t really excited about me studying Media, why not Human resources management, they asked. But I had made up my mind, I always wanted to be a celebrity, and this was my breakthrough, I thought (LOL). I packed my bags, with my mothers prayers and a long lecture from my dad, there began my journey.

Along the way, I met different people from different backgrounds, some whose characters I wondered how their minds really operated and for some I respected. But I learnt a lot from them. I just kept my parents’ words at heart, never to let them down.

2014 I started my internship at Jive Zimbabwe, as a communications intern. That was a fun filled internship, mostly because I regularly worked with Jah Prayzah and also because I worked under minimum supervision, my boss had so much faith in me. It was quite an experience at Jive Zimbabwe and from Benjamin Nyandoro, my boss, I learnt that there shouldn’t be a limit to our dreams, you should dream big. With the online music distribution phenomenon being introduced first by Jive Zimbabawe, I knew I was working for a visionary and I was, and still inspired to be one.

My final year was pretty hard, as can be expected of any final year, but with God’s grace and determination I pulled through. My dissertation was exciting, Online music distribution and piracy in Zimbabwe: A case of Jah Prayzah’s album Jerusarema on Jive Zimbabwe’s Online music store. I had the best supervisor, Dr. Ureke and compared to how others struggled with their dissertations, mine seemed to be a walk in the park. I worked hard and had a distinction for my dissertation.

25 November 2016, I graduated with an Honors degree in Media and Society Studies and I thank God. It wasn’t an easy road and as I sing Ebenezer, I reflect on what I went through over the past four years, and what my parents went through to get me where I am. I thank God.

I am grateful to my parents for doing all they could so I could complete my degree. The moral support was super and there was no way I could have let you down. Mum, you are a star and I salute you, all the tears and struggle you went through shall not go in vain. Daddy, I know I made you proud, and I am glad to have done so.

I want to thank my mums for helping in all they could for my welfare. I couldn’t, even if I wanted to, let you down. May you be blessed. And to all who chipped in along the way, helping out with anything they could, thank you, God will reward.

I could go on and on and on, but I can never thank you all enough. Thank you so much for the support and the advice. I didn’t like the lectures lol, but they did help.

I must say, I am proud of myself, I went to MSU and set my standards and goals. I achieved them all and here I am, counting my blessings. For each and every opportunity that has come my way, I am thankful. All praises be to God.