Archives

A 9 year old is not a prostitute, she’s a victim

I listened in to the program, Issues, Pane Nyaya on Star FM and my heart broke as a 9 year old and 13year old narrated their ordeals as ‘ladies of the night’. These girls are victims of circumstances. The only people who could help just instructed them to follow and find out how they made their money, that is how they became victims.

prostitute

It’s sad how some have not been sympathetic with these little girls, and most comments I have heard have been that ‘Kids of today are too forward’ or ‘vanoda zvinhu’ but I personally feel that it’s unfair, I blame those who introduced them to such ways of getting money.

Poverty has led most of these kids to become victims of older men who come and abuse these kids for a mere 50cents and sometimes a dollar. The most they can get per night is $2, after having spent the night with four men.

We have a lot of child headed families where a child as young as 8 years is forced to take care of her siblings, she has to drop out of school and find means to survival where some of them have ended up in the streets selling their bodies for a small amount of money.

A nine year old cannot reason for herself, she doesn’t know the implications of some actions, all she needs is some convincing that out of this you will get money. She hasn’t gone through puberty and because she has been isolated since the death of her parents, there’s not much she knows about STD’s thus she goes on to do what she thinks will sustain her and the family.

In as much as the blame has been put on the little girls, I personally blame the men who gladly come and stop for the small girls when there are older ‘ladies of the night’. Who, in their right mind, approaches a 9 year old and asks boldly, how much is short time? If these girls had no market, if no one stopped for them, I don’t think they would continue being in the streets, but because there is someone entertaining them, they will continue.

I just wish the authorities could do something to help these child headed families. So long the children have nothing to put in their tummies, they will do the worst to get a dollar. So long these children do not go to school, it’s hard for them to discern between the wrong and the right.

As a society, we all have a responsibility to help where we can. Provide for these children where possible, the NGO’s may help but only to some extent. Just a few words of advice can help them shape their lives. I wish the police would do something to stop these men from abusing these little girls. What will become of the generations to come?

 

 

Advertisements

The war against Anne’s petition : Not about panties, it’s about priorities

After massive attacks from fellow Zimbabweans after Anne Nhira being ecstatic over having the minister’s response on barring Zodwa from coming to perform, I think she and the ‘Team Anne’ have got it all wrong. People are not necessarily angry that Zodwa is being barred from performing, we are angry that Anne could surely petition over something so petty when we have more pressing issues.

ANNE-NHIRA

A few weeks back, Zodwa was trending on social media for flaunting her legs without a panty.  A lot of people were bashing her on social media, including my fellow Zimbabweans who thought it wasn’t proper for one to be dressed without underwear. I am still not sure though why it was an issue.

Fast forward to this week, there came Anne with a letter signed by Minister Zhuwao that they were considering her plea to stop Zodwa from performing. I think she was trying to be relevant, considering the fact that people had bashed Zodwa a few weeks ago so maybe she thought she would get loads of support from people.

What angered us is that we have a lot of problems in this country, serious problems for that matter for one to seriously consider barring a woman who doesn’t like panties (which is her personal choice) from performing at a Carnival where Brazilian ladies who perform dressed next to nothing also perform. On that note, why is this about Zodwa only and not about the Brazilian and Cuban ladies who perform barely dressed?

For me, this letter shows that Anne doesn’t think the unemployment rate in this country is an issue, she doesn’t care about the shortage of hospital equipment, she maybe thinks the vendors in the streets chose to be there and she doesn’t understand that a number of children aren’t going to school because they cannot even afford  school fees.There is a reason why she is residing in a foreign country and not her own.

My point is , Anne should have petitioned for better things. You will be surprised to know most people don’t even know about that carnival because they can’t even afford it. What if our own artists are barred from other foreign countries because of this? What if Anne is chased out of that country because of something she might do which the South Africans think it is against their ‘culture’.

When we seek relevance, let’s find better ways to do it. Things that you thought would push you up might actually bring you down. Some are defending Anne with the notion of culture, don’t tell me about culture because culture is dynamic, I wonder if Mbuya Nehanda knew anything about panties.

Whether she comes or not, I don’t think her presence here has any effect on our culture or our well being as a society. We have our own Bev, Zoey etc. Let people be. People have different ways of making money, let’s not shun them because we do not believe in what they believe in.

He messes up, it’s a ladies’ war

Of all the violence that happens among us as human beings, domestic violence is the most talked about, the violence that is most advocated against and the violence that we are all afraid to be victims of. It is traumatic, and although women are mostly the victims of it, men are victims too and many campaigns have been done against it but I feel there is one type of violence that we have all ignored, but if investigated into, I bet in terms of statistics, it is just after domestic violence. This violence is between us women.

women-fighting-over-guy

In most scenarios, when women fight, it is usually about men, not only fighting for our lovers but even for attention from our brothers and sons. So many strained relationships between mothers and daughters-in-law, as well as sisters-in-law. Many times, the issue is about money, it’s either the mothers and sisters-in-law feel their son is leaving them out since he married, or the husband or boyfriend is cheating in which we come out guns blazing to fight each other.

Just this past week, the most talked about issue was that of the incident between the first lady Grace Mugabe and Gabriella Engels whom she attacked after finding her in her sons’ room in Sandton. There have been many points raised by the social media jury on the issue, the dominant being how could the first lady do that, shaming the country, and for others they were celebrating with the thought that this was her downfall. It’s sad that nothing has been talked about how women attack each other in some circumstances that are mainly caused by men.

Well Robert Jnr and Chatunga are two grown men, who knew what they were doing when they invited the ladies to their room. Yes, she was frustrated as a mother, but attacking the lady was not really the solution. Am pretty sure if it had been a man who had attacked Gabriella the way the first lady did, there would be screams of how women are victims of the males in most situations. Unfortunately, we are not just victims of men, but of women too.

My point is when we fight as women, usually the main cause is men. It’s sad that the women’s organisations have been silent about this issue. The fact however is, if we are to advocate for gender equality, we have to stand up not only when a woman is attacked by a man, but when a woman is also attacked by a fellow woman.

Men will make us hate each other, and when we fight, they are proud that women are fighting for them. I don’t think it’s worth it. As a woman, instead of dating a married man knowingly, why not move to a single guy to avoid conflict. As in-laws, instead of back chatting, why not speak out where there is a problem and resolve issues. No matter how much you do not like your daughter or sister-in-law, so long your brother or son loves him, the ideal thing to do is to accept and appreciate what has been brought in your home.

Some will end up in hospitals with scars that will never fade after fighting with another woman over a man. Some will also end up in prison after attacking girls you find with your son, not all of us are ‘above the law’. Bottom line is, if we are ever to make it as women, if ever we want the men to believe in us, we have to show a united front, and desist from attacking each other. Sometimes we fight against each other and the man will leave us both, what would we have gained?

May we desist from fighting against each other and focus on achieving our goals. Let’s not be our own enemies.

There was more to Zodwa’s dress…

Since Saturday, social media was awash with Zodwa Wabantu’s pictures from the Durban July event. There she was, dressed in a beautiful dress, with an up-to-there slit, showing she was not wearing any panties. Her cellulite thigh was in the open and she didn’t seem to mind, which brings me to the lessons I think we should grasp from her, especially as women. I do not condone such dressing but there was more to that dress other than her showing she had no panties.

Zodwa

  1. Be confident in your body

Look closely at Zodwa’s thigh, it’s not that flawless, it does have flaws, cellulite to be precise. It’s not that she doesn’t know she has cellulite but she’s embraced her flaws and decided not to let them take her down. I have seen women bleach, because they are not very comfortable in their dark skinned. They think being yellow is the definition of beauty. But have you taken a minute to consider the effect of those bleaches? Many of us have even spent a lot of money on buying creams to cover our flawed skin in the name of searching for beauty. Be careful of damaging your skin or body because you think it is better on the other side, you might actually lose a lot by moving from the real you, to a fake you. It’s up to you, I choose to embrace and love my flaws, because that’s what makes me beautiful.

2. Never mind what people say, it’s your life after all

After we have all put our thoughts on social media, laughing and cursing, and worst of all bullying the lady, do you think Zodwa didn’t know the dress would cause a stir? She knew, and from my understanding, I think she was trying to prove a point, she doesn’t care about what people say. How many of us have remained in abusive relationships because we are afraid of what people will say? How many of us have failed to step out of their comfort zones because of what people will say? How many opportunities have we let go by because of what people will say? How many of us have let go of the people we truly loved because of what people said?

We were only given one life on this earth and limiting yourself from doing what you feel is right because of what people will say is self torture and you will forever regret it. It’s not about what people will say but about what you want in your life, what makes you happy. I know no man is an island entire to itself but at the end of the day, what really matters is what makes you happy. I promise you, no matter what good you do, people will always find a fault in whatever  you would have done. So mam, get up, brush yourself up, wear whatever you want and go out and enjoy your life. Life is too short to hold back. I think Zodwa is actually enjoying her life, while we busy waste our data forwarding her pictures and demeaning her. She actually got free publicity, so you never know what will push you up.

3. Looking at the bigger picture : We are no saints when it comes to dressing

I know most women are against the way she was dressed but she did this for the women, to show bravery and confidence. Sometimes, when someone does something, let’s not look at whatever it is as it is, look at the bigger picture. For whatever happens in this life, there’s always a hidden meaning behind, which we should look at before we judge someone. Most of us do worse behind close doors, so think of that before judging. I was just thinking of how some of us dress, we are no different from Zodwa, only that she left one side of herself in the open. Some of us are wearing see through tights and not much of underwear which leaves most of our ‘private’ parts public. I won’t start on the dresses we are wearing which are more or less like that of Zodwa’s.  Yet here we are castigating Zodwa as if we are saints.

I know most people would be basing on the bible but the bible does say judge not, therefore we have no right at all to judge her dressing. Anyway, everyone is entitled to an opinion but I thought I would give you something to think about.

PS: Please explain where the outrage is coming from. From her flaunting her leg or from her not wearing panties?

 

Dear public transporters…we are passengers not baggage

The number of lives that have been lost over the past months is heartbreaking. When you do not have a relative involved it’s very easy to just say aww shame, but I can’t imagine the feelings of the families that lost their breadwinners in these accidents, the children who risk failing to go to school because there’s no more fees and the mothers who do not know where their next meal will come from because the meal provider is gone. Gone because of one reckless driver who thought of  his target without thinking of the risks involved.

KingLion-accident

Last weekend, as we drove down Mutoko road, I thought there wouldn’t be speeding buses, due to the fact that there had been an accident earlier that week, you would think they would be a bit cautious, but no, they were over speeding with confidence, and to make it worse, it was at night.

It is worrying how these bus drivers do not take passengers as human but as baggage that needs to be delivered fast so as to rush back to get more. Not only are the bus drivers reckless but the combi-drivers too. Before you enter the combi, you are the boss, they will wait for you as you brush your teeth but once you get in, your value is nothing but 50cents, they hope you drop off along the way so that they get more passengers.

That’s where the problem is, the public transporters have valued our lives monetarily, all that matters is reaching the destination as soon as possible so as to have as many passengers as possible, but to who’s expense? It is sad.

Yes, the roads are bad but can we entirely put the blame on the potholes? Would it hurt so much to decrease speed where necessary and increase the speed where the road is better? What good is it when you overturn, and risk people’s lives while speeding for more few coins. Does this ever cross their mind or all that’s filled in their minds is money and nothing else?

One dreads sitting at the back seat of the combi, especially when passing through Mbare, where there are more potholes than the road, (I wonder why Mbare is always put last in terms of road maintenance), the combis speed through the pot holes and you are thrown to the roof.

Sometimes, I blame the passengers, because everyone is late, they don’t mind the driver speeding, so if you are to tell the driver that he’s speeding it would be 19 against one, but if anything is to happen, they are the first to say, he was speeding.

Drivers, as you start your key and get on the road, remember you are carrying lives and not baggage, there’s no rush, as the saying goes, it’s better to be late than be the late. Sorry will never bring back lives, and I have seen campaigns against the King Lion bus, but what good will it be if lives have already been lost. Police officers, instead of looking at whether our car seats are torn or not, why not make sure the buses and combi’s are roadworthy. Let’s not major in the minors.

Passengers, we have every right to stop the bus and get off it if we see that he has no concern whatsoever with our lives. Our lives matter.

 

How we ‘kill’ our own artists

There has been so much debate over our local music industry, whether we have an industry or not. Some have argued that there is no talent whilst others have said our artists are not fit for the international scene. I beg to differ. Talent is there and our artists are far much better than other artists from other countries but one thing they lack is support, from both the fans and the government.

killer-t1

One cannot dispute the fact that there are some who produce bubblegum music, some are just one hit wonder artists and some are just fly by night artists but just because there are a few of those in the music industry does not mean the whole industry has bad apples. Not considering those who think just because they have a laptop they can produce music.

Our artists are not as wealthy as those in other countries and this can be attributed to us the audiences, who love our artists’ music but we are not willing to spare a dollar to buy their CDs, we would rather download for free and still claim ‘I am your number one fan’, point of correction, you are the number one enemy of progress.

There have been efforts made by artists to make their music available, even competing with the pirate’s prices and selling the discs for a dollar but we still do not support. It’s so unfortunate that we are the one’s that laugh at how poor they are and how we all use public transport with them. We look down upon our own.

A number of artists have also found ways to break into the international scene by collaborating with international artists and they seem to be making it looking at artists like Jah Prayzah. Slowly but surely, our music is becoming international.

I am sure you will agree with me that the videos being produced these days are top notch and can very much compete with any other international music video. Unfortunately, as Zimbabweans, we are not as accepting to the development as much as we should be. We still want those videos where are our artists are standing in First street or at the lake. We are too reluctant to accept change.

About a month ago, social media was awash with people fuming over Killer T’s pictures of him in a coffin. It is funny how we are quick to judge, labeling others as satanists, just because of a simple thing. A coffin is where a dead person is put before they are buried in a grave and a satanist is someone who worships satan. I am still trying to find the link between the two, how one can be labelled a satanist because they have a picture of themselves in a coffin.

It is funny how most of the people who are being judgemental are Christians, for the bible we read teaches us not to judge (Matthew 7:1). It even goes on to teach us to look at our sins first before looking at the sins of others. But no, we don’t follow what the bible says, we do and say what we feel is right. I am sure the producer of the video knew what he wanted to sell to the audiences.

Just a week ago, Jah Prayzah released his Sendekera video in which he featured Mafikizolo. We must agree that he is putting Zimbabwe in the limelight. However, I was shocked at the negative comments that where all over social media. I must say I applaud Jah Prayzah for responding to the negative statements by saying he couldn’t please everyone, which is true. I feel if you do not like something, you just have to ignore and focus on what you like and not try to convince the others that it is bad just because you do not like it.

Art, from my understanding is not created to please all, just as this article will be applauded by some and criticized by others but that’s how it is. Everyone has a right to produce what he or she feels is right for them. And if  one doesn’t like it, they might as well create something better or follow what they think is better than what they have been given

I believe no matter how bad something might seem, the person behind it would have put much into it with the belief that it is satisfactory and it will blow minds away. If you do not like something, then sorry, click next. Amazing how Sendekera video with the negative comments it has got already has over 500k views.

The reason why those international artists flourish is because they have full support from the people from their countries, pity we don’t do the same, we are quick to pull down our artists and it will take time before our artists can fully penetrate the international market. The artists are who we make them.

Note to Olinda……

I would be lying if I said I know how u feel right now, because I don’t.  Probably that’s the reason why I thought you were overreacting when you posted your first video. I even laughed and regretted feeling sorry for you when you posted an apology the next day, putting all the blame on yourself. But I do know you are hurt.

olinda-chideme

I must say I am sorry for that. I have come to realise that there are situations when one is depressed, when you haven’t done anything wrong but the world seems cruel to you. Having tried to be the perfect woman but the person you are doing it for never notices, they instead make you feel worse.  You cry, scream and shout and sometimes feel a bit over the edge, suicide becomes an option.

Probably you told a number of people about your predicament, hoping they would make your burden lighter, but they could have made it worse, telling you ‘we told you so’ or spreading it over to more people to make it worse. Maybe that is why you decided to take it to social media.

I am not married and probably am not the right person to try and comfort you but I just thought I should say what I feel might be helpful.

You are worth more than you feel you are.You are beautiful the way you are and no one should ever tell you other wise. You can never please everyone, so do what you are comfortable with and not what the next person thinks is better for you. When you are disappointed, cry, shout and scream all you want, just let it all out.

Suicide should never be an option, it’s your family that loses their loved one and your death will only leave scars to those who truly love you and fulfillment to those who don’t. I understand what could have made you more emotional is because you lost your mother recently, you wish if she was there you could tell her all your problems. Whenever you think of suicide, think of what your mother would have wanted for you and what she would have loved to see you achieve and work towards that. I am sure she wouldn’t have wanted you crying over a man.

You can never tell someone in love to leave their partner because they have been wronged because tomorrow you might seem to be the enemy. I won’t tell you to leave Stunner but I will tell you to think of who stands to benefit in this marriage or if you divorce, who benefits more. But what matters the most is what your heart wants, follow you heart.

There are many organisations that are willing to listen to you cry, their doors are wide open and at any time you can call or visit. Social media might have been your last option but I feel posting videos of yourself in tears might even worsen your situation, with some nasty people who are there to curse for no apparent reason.

Go away for a holiday if you have to, forget your misery and think things through. I can see you have started retail therapy, great going! There is more to life than cheating lads. Tomorrow will be a better day. Pray as much as you can and ask God for forgiveness.

I am sorry for what you went through, I hope you are recovering.

Have a great life!