Tag Archive | culture

The war against Anne’s petition : Not about panties, it’s about priorities

After massive attacks from fellow Zimbabweans after Anne Nhira being ecstatic over having the minister’s response on barring Zodwa from coming to perform, I think she and the ‘Team Anne’ have got it all wrong. People are not necessarily angry that Zodwa is being barred from performing, we are angry that Anne could surely petition over something so petty when we have more pressing issues.

ANNE-NHIRA

A few weeks back, Zodwa was trending on social media for flaunting her legs without a panty.  A lot of people were bashing her on social media, including my fellow Zimbabweans who thought it wasn’t proper for one to be dressed without underwear. I am still not sure though why it was an issue.

Fast forward to this week, there came Anne with a letter signed by Minister Zhuwao that they were considering her plea to stop Zodwa from performing. I think she was trying to be relevant, considering the fact that people had bashed Zodwa a few weeks ago so maybe she thought she would get loads of support from people.

What angered us is that we have a lot of problems in this country, serious problems for that matter for one to seriously consider barring a woman who doesn’t like panties (which is her personal choice) from performing at a Carnival where Brazilian ladies who perform dressed next to nothing also perform. On that note, why is this about Zodwa only and not about the Brazilian and Cuban ladies who perform barely dressed?

For me, this letter shows that Anne doesn’t think the unemployment rate in this country is an issue, she doesn’t care about the shortage of hospital equipment, she maybe thinks the vendors in the streets chose to be there and she doesn’t understand that a number of children aren’t going to school because they cannot even afford  school fees.There is a reason why she is residing in a foreign country and not her own.

My point is , Anne should have petitioned for better things. You will be surprised to know most people don’t even know about that carnival because they can’t even afford it. What if our own artists are barred from other foreign countries because of this? What if Anne is chased out of that country because of something she might do which the South Africans think it is against their ‘culture’.

When we seek relevance, let’s find better ways to do it. Things that you thought would push you up might actually bring you down. Some are defending Anne with the notion of culture, don’t tell me about culture because culture is dynamic, I wonder if Mbuya Nehanda knew anything about panties.

Whether she comes or not, I don’t think her presence here has any effect on our culture or our well being as a society. We have our own Bev, Zoey etc. Let people be. People have different ways of making money, let’s not shun them because we do not believe in what they believe in.

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Women, let’s be bold for change

For years now, we have been crying for change, for platforms to express ourselves, for equal opportunities as well as reasonable representation in policy making platforms. Platforms have been provided, opportunities are there and representation has since improved, but are we bold enough for change. I believe change begins with us and it all begins with changing our mindsets.

Photo on 25-9-2014 at 4.52 PM

  1. Getting rid of the Inferiority complex

Everyone is talented in different ways but some people tend to hide their potential, leaving success for the others. What we forget is success is not for anyone else but us. We often complain that not many opportunities have come our way but sometimes it is not about the opportunity that comes your way but it is all about standing up and doing what you can do to the best of your abilities and opportunities will certainly come your way. Never think less of yourself, you are worth more than you can imagine. Women are so gifted and I believe if we stop feeling inferior and come together, we can do wonders and change the world to be better.

2. Changing the dependency mindset

Most ladies my age, who are not yet married and looking forward to marriage tend to have the mentality of looking for someone who will take care of them while they sit and gladly accept hand overs. Yes, a man is ‘supposed’ to take care of his wife but what are you doing to sustain yourself in case he leaves you. Society has taught us to rely on men but it is time we changed that. Let us teach self reliance to the little girls and change the gospel of finding a rich husband but the gospel of working hard and being a rich wife. Be a rich girl before you find a rich man, so that you complement each other. Marriage should be about companionship and not financial benefits.

Reliance is the same reason why most women have stayed in abusive relationships, mainly because they do not have anywhere to go, if they leave that marriage they have nothing to sustain themselves hence they live for the money. I don’t blame them, but I blame society that has, from the very first day, taught us to rely on men. It’s time to change that and try as much as possible to be able to sustain ourselves before we can think of marriage.

3. Making other people’s lives your career

Unemployment is on the rise and this has often seen most people having nothing to do other than spend the whole day on social media, admiring and criticizing the celebrities’ lives and also following other people’s lives. ‘Who is dating who? Who got dumped by who? Who got married? Who got impregnated by who? And so on..’ But how does this edify your life?What benefit is it to the world? What value does it add to your life knowing and rejoicing on someone’s progress or recline in life?

If the answer is nothing, then why not invest that time in doing something that will help in making you  a better person. If you can’t invest in the smallest project, better invest your time in reading and in that will you find motivation or tips on how to be a better person.

Gossip, viral threads and jokes only give you something to laugh about at that moment but it does not make your life any better. Make something out of your life and find things that will bring food to your table.

Use social media to your advantage. Social media is a chance to show yourself to the world, what you can do and how you can help in the world. There’s more to facebook other than selfies and funny skits. Take action.

4. From Pull-her-down to pull-her-up syndrome

Women tend to have a problem of finding it hard to support fellow women in what they do, they are good at telling her, ‘you are bound to fail’. It is difficult to let the men believe in us if we do not believe in our fellow women. The more we support each other, the more we are represented in policy making affairs. It is quite unfortunate that recently, the minister of women’s affairs, Nyasha Chikwinya, who is supposed to be supporting the women, recently appointed a male chairperson for the women’s bank where there were a number of female applicants. So much for empowering the women.

From a tender age, let’s teach the girl child to support the women as much as they support the male counterparts. Opportunities and positions should not be accorded as to one’s gender but as to one’s abilities. As Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie puts it, “Teach her to question or culture’s selective use of biology as ‘reasons’ for social norms.” If the girl wants to be a mechanic, let her be, mechanics is not in the DNA of men, neither is cooking in the DNA of women. As a woman, you should not be bound by societal expectations but by what you want to do. Never mind the other women who won’t support you, well they will admire you when you are up there.

5. Getting married because society feels you are ‘ripe’

So when ladies get to their twenties, and they graduate from university or college, what society expects from them is marriage. They are now old enough to get married, which has often put pressure on them. Ladies end up getting married because of society and not because they have found the right person which I think has contributed to the influx on divorces before five years. Get married because, deep down in your heart you feel you have found the right person and deep inside, you are ready.

It is all about changing our mindsets, shifting our focus not only on being caregivers but being leaders and innovators. Women are blessed with the gift of multi-tasking, there’s nothing we cannot juggle. Let’s stand up and do something for ourselves, something we can be proud to stand up and say, I achieved this as a woman. Get rid of people who do not push you up and discourage you and start associating yourself with those who encourage you to do better and become innovative.

Happy women’s month! May we aim to change the world for the  better.

Gender discrimination begins at home, girls raised to be wives

BEING a woman in a male dominated society is not easy, but over the years, women have managed to pull through and achieve their goals and dreams despite the challenges of men and even other women looking down upon them. The have proved they can do it.
Being an independent woman is more difficult in this kind of society, as people warn you, you will not make it without a man and the moment you prove them wrong, you are labelled.

It’s even more difficult to be a feminist in the African society as you are seen as a destroyer and bad influence to the rest of the women. You are told that no matter how much you try, women can never be equal to men. Funny enough, the men give you a bit of hope, they give you a chance to try, with the warning though that you are bound to fail somehow but the women themselves demotivate you from the start. Continue reading