Tag Archive | Ivy Nyasha Vimbai Chibanda

A 9 year old is not a prostitute, she’s a victim

I listened in to the program, Issues, Pane Nyaya on Star FM and my heart broke as a 9 year old and 13year old narrated their ordeals as ‘ladies of the night’. These girls are victims of circumstances. The only people who could help just instructed them to follow and find out how they made their money, that is how they became victims.

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It’s sad how some have not been sympathetic with these little girls, and most comments I have heard have been that ‘Kids of today are too forward’ or ‘vanoda zvinhu’ but I personally feel that it’s unfair, I blame those who introduced them to such ways of getting money.

Poverty has led most of these kids to become victims of older men who come and abuse these kids for a mere 50cents and sometimes a dollar. The most they can get per night is $2, after having spent the night with four men.

We have a lot of child headed families where a child as young as 8 years is forced to take care of her siblings, she has to drop out of school and find means to survival where some of them have ended up in the streets selling their bodies for a small amount of money.

A nine year old cannot reason for herself, she doesn’t know the implications of some actions, all she needs is some convincing that out of this you will get money. She hasn’t gone through puberty and because she has been isolated since the death of her parents, there’s not much she knows about STD’s thus she goes on to do what she thinks will sustain her and the family.

In as much as the blame has been put on the little girls, I personally blame the men who gladly come and stop for the small girls when there are older ‘ladies of the night’. Who, in their right mind, approaches a 9 year old and asks boldly, how much is short time? If these girls had no market, if no one stopped for them, I don’t think they would continue being in the streets, but because there is someone entertaining them, they will continue.

I just wish the authorities could do something to help these child headed families. So long the children have nothing to put in their tummies, they will do the worst to get a dollar. So long these children do not go to school, it’s hard for them to discern between the wrong and the right.

As a society, we all have a responsibility to help where we can. Provide for these children where possible, the NGO’s may help but only to some extent. Just a few words of advice can help them shape their lives. I wish the police would do something to stop these men from abusing these little girls. What will become of the generations to come?

 

 

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He messes up, it’s a ladies’ war

Of all the violence that happens among us as human beings, domestic violence is the most talked about, the violence that is most advocated against and the violence that we are all afraid to be victims of. It is traumatic, and although women are mostly the victims of it, men are victims too and many campaigns have been done against it but I feel there is one type of violence that we have all ignored, but if investigated into, I bet in terms of statistics, it is just after domestic violence. This violence is between us women.

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In most scenarios, when women fight, it is usually about men, not only fighting for our lovers but even for attention from our brothers and sons. So many strained relationships between mothers and daughters-in-law, as well as sisters-in-law. Many times, the issue is about money, it’s either the mothers and sisters-in-law feel their son is leaving them out since he married, or the husband or boyfriend is cheating in which we come out guns blazing to fight each other.

Just this past week, the most talked about issue was that of the incident between the first lady Grace Mugabe and Gabriella Engels whom she attacked after finding her in her sons’ room in Sandton. There have been many points raised by the social media jury on the issue, the dominant being how could the first lady do that, shaming the country, and for others they were celebrating with the thought that this was her downfall. It’s sad that nothing has been talked about how women attack each other in some circumstances that are mainly caused by men.

Well Robert Jnr and Chatunga are two grown men, who knew what they were doing when they invited the ladies to their room. Yes, she was frustrated as a mother, but attacking the lady was not really the solution. Am pretty sure if it had been a man who had attacked Gabriella the way the first lady did, there would be screams of how women are victims of the males in most situations. Unfortunately, we are not just victims of men, but of women too.

My point is when we fight as women, usually the main cause is men. It’s sad that the women’s organisations have been silent about this issue. The fact however is, if we are to advocate for gender equality, we have to stand up not only when a woman is attacked by a man, but when a woman is also attacked by a fellow woman.

Men will make us hate each other, and when we fight, they are proud that women are fighting for them. I don’t think it’s worth it. As a woman, instead of dating a married man knowingly, why not move to a single guy to avoid conflict. As in-laws, instead of back chatting, why not speak out where there is a problem and resolve issues. No matter how much you do not like your daughter or sister-in-law, so long your brother or son loves him, the ideal thing to do is to accept and appreciate what has been brought in your home.

Some will end up in hospitals with scars that will never fade after fighting with another woman over a man. Some will also end up in prison after attacking girls you find with your son, not all of us are ‘above the law’. Bottom line is, if we are ever to make it as women, if ever we want the men to believe in us, we have to show a united front, and desist from attacking each other. Sometimes we fight against each other and the man will leave us both, what would we have gained?

May we desist from fighting against each other and focus on achieving our goals. Let’s not be our own enemies.

Of the words I wanted to say….before tears got the best of me

When I enrolled for university 4 years ago, there are two things I really couldn’t wait for, my graduation ceremony and my graduation party. What came with graduating is what is generally important but for me, the day when people would gather around and congratulate me was the most important. No matter how hard things seemed to be, I fought harder so that I could get a graduation party. One important part of the party I wanted was the time when I would say my speech, talking about my journey and thanking all who helped me throughout the journey, but tears got the best of me and I only said a few words. But here goes what I always wanted to say.dscf8584

 

Growing up, I have seen my parents try hard to make sure we have the best of education, not that I went to the best of schools, but I went to the best of schools they could manage and it is through that, that I became who I am.

I have grown to see the people around me excel and fail. For those who excelled, I learnt that anything is possible under the sun and you can achieve if you only put your heart in all that you  do. I must say though, that I learnt a lot more from the people who failed and made mistakes before me, for they tested the waters for me, they drowned and I made sure I didn’t take that path.

My Journey at Midlands State University

When I applied at Midlands State University (MSU), my name did not appear in the press when they published the names of people who had got places at the University, I was distraught, where would I go? UZ had offered me Bachdelor of Arts which I had no interest in whatsoever and MSU was my last option, with my first option being Psychology, Politics and public management as second option and lastly Media and society studies.

I kept my faith and I knew I would get a place, I was going to reapply as soon as the semester started. I had so much faith that I went to South Africa to shop for school, when I didn’t even have a place. My cousin brother, who’s a lecturer assured me I would get a place, but in Human resources. as it was the department that was still recruiting.

As soon as the University opened, I went to Gweru with my school fees carefully tucked in my jeans and I went straight to the Human resources department to ask if I could get a place. The attitude I got from the department, yohh, I will leave it here. But we were made to wait for five hours straight without any feedback.

My cousin later came, just a few minutes before lunch and asked what they had said and I told him they hadn’t attended to us since morning. He then asked if I would rather be interested in History, I refused, History was my worst subject at A level, and I wasn’t going to spend the next four years studying something I hated. He then asked if I would rather be interested in English and Communications and I just asked what I would do with that degree and he tried explaining but still, I wasn’t interested. Then he asked if I would rather be interested in Media, and I leaped with joy, I wanted Media.

We went to the Media and Society Studies department and we met the chairperson. There were vacancies in the department, provided I had Literature in English and at least an E in O level Mathematics. That was it! I got the place and I was about to start my journey.

Of course, the parents weren’t really excited about me studying Media, why not Human resources management, they asked. But I had made up my mind, I always wanted to be a celebrity, and this was my breakthrough, I thought (LOL). I packed my bags, with my mothers prayers and a long lecture from my dad, there began my journey.

Along the way, I met different people from different backgrounds, some whose characters I wondered how their minds really operated and for some I respected. But I learnt a lot from them. I just kept my parents’ words at heart, never to let them down.

2014 I started my internship at Jive Zimbabwe, as a communications intern. That was a fun filled internship, mostly because I regularly worked with Jah Prayzah and also because I worked under minimum supervision, my boss had so much faith in me. It was quite an experience at Jive Zimbabwe and from Benjamin Nyandoro, my boss, I learnt that there shouldn’t be a limit to our dreams, you should dream big. With the online music distribution phenomenon being introduced first by Jive Zimbabawe, I knew I was working for a visionary and I was, and still inspired to be one.

My final year was pretty hard, as can be expected of any final year, but with God’s grace and determination I pulled through. My dissertation was exciting, Online music distribution and piracy in Zimbabwe: A case of Jah Prayzah’s album Jerusarema on Jive Zimbabwe’s Online music store. I had the best supervisor, Dr. Ureke and compared to how others struggled with their dissertations, mine seemed to be a walk in the park. I worked hard and had a distinction for my dissertation.

25 November 2016, I graduated with an Honors degree in Media and Society Studies and I thank God. It wasn’t an easy road and as I sing Ebenezer, I reflect on what I went through over the past four years, and what my parents went through to get me where I am. I thank God.

I am grateful to my parents for doing all they could so I could complete my degree. The moral support was super and there was no way I could have let you down. Mum, you are a star and I salute you, all the tears and struggle you went through shall not go in vain. Daddy, I know I made you proud, and I am glad to have done so.

I want to thank my mums for helping in all they could for my welfare. I couldn’t, even if I wanted to, let you down. May you be blessed. And to all who chipped in along the way, helping out with anything they could, thank you, God will reward.

I could go on and on and on, but I can never thank you all enough. Thank you so much for the support and the advice. I didn’t like the lectures lol, but they did help.

I must say, I am proud of myself, I went to MSU and set my standards and goals. I achieved them all and here I am, counting my blessings. For each and every opportunity that has come my way, I am thankful. All praises be to God.

 

 

Now that I am 22…….

I really wanted to write this on my birthday, but I got busy. After my birthday, I was too excited to write, finally I had passed my road test. When the excitement was over, I had to concentrate on my work related learning report, which gave me no space of writing at all. Now the pressure and excitement is all gone, I feel I still owe myself this post.

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I am one person who’s always excited about her birthday, 3 May is a significant day in my life and I start counting down to my next birthday in November, six months before. It might seem crazy, but it’s who I am, I have learnt to appreciate every day as it arrives, and every 3 May as it comes, because it is a blessing. It’s not about getting birthday presents or getting spoiled by anyone, it’s about me being a year older, I feel it as a step towards greater things.

Growing up, I have been surrounded by different kinds of people, some who’ve inspired me, some who have amazed me, surprised me, and from some I have learnt lessons through their failures. I am grateful for those, because I am assured I won’t make the same mistake, they have experienced that for me and I have seen the results. Continue reading